oh god i found a crappypasta i wrote

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Post by remiu hakurei on Mon Aug 18, 2014 2:11 pm

i wrote this when i was like 13

Toontown Online is my favourite MMORPG, and has been ever since I found out about it, which was 2 years ago. I always liked being able to play non-stop, and imagine that I was a coral mouse throwing gags at some robots named the "Cogs." However, one day, I found out that you shouldn't play on someone else's account, even if they're giving it away and practically beg you to play on it.

It started off in Toon Valley's Toontown Central, where many people go to socialise with others. It was just like an average day in Toon Valley; there was a hacker named Freckles, but wasn't the actual Freckles, who was trying to get himself attention, there were lots of people trying to get others to join their game shows and dating shows, a lime duck stood in the middle of the playground, trying to cuss other people, etc. etc. However, a suspicious black cat was standing near the Goofy's Gag Shop, with a thought bubble saying: "FREE ACC! Name : super toon won to tree, Pass : pasta is the best ( no spaces )." I whispered to that cat, asking for more details. The cat said that the account was a non-member, and that there was a maxed toonupless toon in the green slot. I couldn't resist going on the account, so I logged out of my usual account, and logged on to the account the cat was giving away.

Everything was normal; the Toontown loading screen, the music and the "select-a-toon" screen. However, the toon in the green block was not so normal; it was a male red cat simply named "Murdererer." I guessed they couldn't spell "Murderer" right, but I also thought it was because the game wouldn't accept the word "Murderer." Without any second thoughts, I clicked on the cat. After the game loaded, I was in Toontown Central. It was then I noticed something was wrong with the account; the game was played in monochrome (except the toons), the playground music was grotesquely distorted, the cat's shirt looked like it was covered in blood, and once I checked the cat's gags, I was in shock.

Indeed, the toon's gags were maxed, but in place of Toon-up was a single gag named "Knife." I checked the Knife's stats, and it said:
"Knife – Unlimited – Accuracy: Perfect – Toon-up: -137 – Affects: One toon – Skill credit: 0." Below those stats, there was also a strange and scary stat named "Toons Killed: 0." So that's where the "Toon-up: -137" came from. It turned a toon sad – or so I thought. I went out in the streets and found someone fighting a Level 3 Cold Caller without any gags. I joined them, but somehow, I was placed on the cog's side, instead of the toon's. The only gag available was the Knife. Hesitantly, I clicked it, and Murdererer stabbed the poor toon. The toon didn't go sad, but instead, died, and now, the Toons Killed stat said 1. The picture of the knife had turned just a bit red in some places, and I realised that was blood. The animation when the toon died was simply their eyes closing and their lifeless body, falling onto the street. "How could you…" – The toon's ghost whispered, "How could you…"

I was brought to a place called "Graveyard", and I was standing near the toon's grave. I realised that meant they would never be coming back, and the owner of the toon would not be able to play them anymore. I felt sorry for the owner of the toon, but Murdererer was apathetic. Suddenly, the game took control of itself and I was not able to control Murdererer, who was rampaging throughout the streets of Toontown Central and using the Knife on every toon they saw. The Toons Killed stat was rising rapidly, and the more toons Murdererer killed, the more distorted the landscape and music was. I think this was supposed to represent the guilt and the insanity of the red cat. Soon, after the Toons Killed stat rose to 1000, the screen cut to black. I hoped that it was the end, but instead, a disgustingly realistic picture of decomposing toon bodies underneath their graves appeared. Another picture appeared, with Murdererer completely covered in blood. I was panicking, so I tried pressing Control+Alt+Delete, which had no effect. "Nice try, minion" flashed on the Toontown window, so I panicked even more. Even turning off the computer didn't seem to have an effect on the game; as soon as I turned the computer back on, the game started from where I cut off.

Suddenly, Murdererer was running forward, with the camera in first person, facing him. After he got to the closest point possible, he performed the stab animation, with blood appearing on the screen, a loud, high-pitched scream playing and the camera moving as if the cameraman fainted. I realised this represented me being his next and last victim, as the screen turned black afterwards. Then, the screen went back to the select-a-toon screen, but the block in which Murdererer was had his name written in blood, along with "I MURDERED YOU" written where his head was supposed to be.
Immediately, I clicked "Close" on the game window, and, to my surprise, it worked. I logged on to the account again, but Murdererer was completely gone. The game was operating like normal again, with the cheery Toontown music playing again, and with "Make A Toon" written in the block where Murdererer was. Just to make sure, I made a toon named "Super Duke" who beared no resemblance to Murdererer, and was teleported to the Toontorial. It played normally, and Super Duke had no knife in his gag inventory. Only the cupcake and squirting flower.

This has taught me an important lesson: Don't ever go on an account given away by someone, even if they beg you to do so. I still play Toontown, but I will never be able to get rid of the scar caused by playing on that account.
remiu hakurei
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Post by LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD on Mon Aug 18, 2014 2:43 pm

these muthafuckin TOOONS usin TOON UP in the VEE PEE these GREENAS with they UBERSS with TEN LAUGH

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Post by trashboat on Mon Aug 18, 2014 10:18 pm

this is better

ALRIGHT, I KNOW YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS. I USED TO BE A SKEPTIC TOO, BUT EVERYTHING YOU KNOW ABOUT REALITY IS A LIE, AND YOU CAN'T KNOW THE TRUTH, OKAY? SO ONE TIME, WHILE I WAS LIVING IN SOME PLACE, SOME CREEPY SHIT HAPPENED. I SAW SOMETHING SCARY IN MY MIRROR. I TURNED AROUND AND IT SAID THE TIME WAS 13:666 OH GOD!!!!!!!!!!!! THEN I SAW A LITTLE GIRL SMILING AT ME, BUT SHE WAS, LIKE, A CREEPY LITTLE GIRL, SO WHATEVER. THEN A SKELETON POPPED OUT AND DISEMBOWELED HER, SO I WAS LIKE "OK, I'M DONE WITH THIS." SO I WALKED OUTSIDE, AND I FOUND A TIMETRAVELER WHO TOLD ME HE KILLED ARCHDUKE FRANZ FERDINAND AND ABRAHAM LINCOLN, WHICH IS WEIRD BECAUSE WHY WOULD HE DO THAT? SO JUST WALKED ALONG, THINKING THAT EVERYTHING WAS FINE NOW, WHEN THE SKY TURNED RED FOR SOME REASON.

THEN I FOUND A YARD SALE THAT WAS SELLING GAMES. I FOUND A POKEMON ONE THAT WAS JUST A BLANK CARTIRAGE WITH POKEMON WRITTEN ON IT IN MARKER. I SAID "I'LL TAKE IT." AND THE YARD SALE GUY WAS LIKE "DUDE, THAT GAME IS HAUNTED." AND I WAS LIKE "BITCH I DON'T CARE." THEN I PUNCHED HIM IN THE GUT AND LEFT HIM FIVE DOLLARS (WITH THREE DOLLAR TIP, OF COURSE). WHEN I GOT HOME, I STARTED PLAYING THE GAME. THE INTRO WAS HITLER GIVING A SPEECH AND NAZIS GOOSE STEPPING THROUGH A CONCENTRATION CAMP, AND IT WAS ALL HYPER-REALISTIC. WEIRD. AND I HEARD THE LAVENDER TOWN THEME BEING PLAYED ON AN ENDLESS LOOP, AND I THOUGHT "FUCK." BUT THEN IT WAS OKAY,

BECAUSE I FOUND A SECRET THAT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE IN THE GAME, AND I FELT PROUD. I THEN REMEMBERED THAT BEFORE I LEFT, THE YARD SALE GUY TOLD ME THAT THE KID WHO OWNED THIS GAME PUT SATANIC POWERS IN IT AND COMMITED SUICIDE, BUT THEN I REALIZED THAT I DIDN'T GIVE A SHIT AND KEPT ON PLAYING. THEN HEROBINE CAME ON THE SCREEN FOR SOME REASON AND SAID MY NAME, EVEN THOUGH I DIDN'T TELL THE GAME MY REAL NAME. CREEPY, HUH? SO I KEPT ON PLAYING AS NORMAL. I WAS TRYING TO LIVE CHILDHOOD NOSTALGIA WHEN SOME UNOWN FLASHED ON THE SCREEN, AND WHEN I TRANSLATED IT, IT SAID "LOOK BEHIND YOU." SO I DID AND THAT CREEPY GIRL WAS THERE AGAIN, NOT DISEMBOWELED FOR SOME REASON. I PATTED HER ON THE HEAD, THEN WENT BACK TO THE GAME. I DECIDED TO TAKE A BREAK (BUT I COULDN'T TURN THE GAME OFF, WTF?) WHEN I FOUND SOMEONE PM'ED ME THIS THING THAT I COULD HACK THE GAME WITH,

SO I DID WITHOUT QUESTIONING ANYTHING. I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IT WOULD DO. THEN CHARACTERS STARTED TELLING ME TO TURN BACK, TURN OFF THE GAME, AND TO NOT GO TO LAVENDAR TOWN, BUT I SAID "FUCK THAT SHIT" AND WENT THERE ANYWAYS. I WALKED UP TO SOME KID AND TALKED TO HIM. HE SAID "BEN DROWNED" I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK THAT MEANS, BUT WHATEVER. SO I LEFT LAVENDAR TOWN BECAUSE THE MUSIC MADE ME WANT TO COMMIT SUICIDE. SOMEONE SAW ME, THEN I FROZE. HE WALKED UP TO ME AND SAID HE WANTED TO FIGHT. BUT WE DIDN'T FIGHT. THESE WEIRD MUTATED CREATURES DID. MINE ONE, AND HIS SUNK INTO THE GROUND. THEN I STOLE HIS MONEY, AND THEN ROBLOX. THEN THE GAME DELETED ITSELF, AND I COULDN'T GET IT BACK. NOW THAT THAT WAS OVER, I DECIDED TO WATCH TV. BUT BEFORE THAT, I WENT BACK ON THE COMPUTER, AND A FRIEND OF MINE WHO WAS ALSO AN INTERN AT NICKOLODEN LIKE ME HAD SENT ME A WEIRD FILE. IT WAS CALLED "SUPERSUICIDESPONGEMOUSE.AVI" USING MY L33T SKILLS AND "FAGGOT.EXE", I GOT THE FILE ON MY TV AND WATCHED IT. IT WAS A LOST EPISODE OF SPONGEBOB SQUARPANTS AND IT WAS CALLED "GOODBYE (INSERT MY NAME) SQUAREPANTS, WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO THEN THERE WAS ALL THIS VIOLENCE AND BLOOD AND SHIT, INCLUDING A SOVIET GULAG. THEN THE CREEPY LITTLE GIRL COMMITED SUICIDE, AND I FOUND OUT THAT A LOT OF CHILDREN COMMITED SUICIDE WHEN THEY WATCHED IT. THEN THE SKELTON POPPED OUT AGAIN AND KILLED ME. THE END.

P.S. YOU'RE NEXT!!!
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Post by remiu hakurei on Tue Aug 19, 2014 3:20 am

2spooky4me
remiu hakurei
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Post by chill the fuck out on Tue Aug 19, 2014 3:06 pm

hatred has escaped me and it making its way up the anus of your misdeeds donald fuck
chill the fuck out
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