programming languages

so heres what i understand so far:

C++: for retarded "coders" who dont understand anything but think they're super hardcore for using it, like ubuntu in the form of a programming lang
python: for trendy faggots who make worthless "apps" to try and look cool with their fellow linux mint using buddies
lisp and assembly: the greatest, end all, final frontier of all programming languages
perl: lol not readable and a relic of the late 90s but ok otherwise
ruby: python for hipster faggots also made by a nip
C sharp: see python but replace linux mint with OS X
java: see C++ but with a security nightmare of a virtual machine that uses every available resource for no reason
lua: tries to be "user friendly" but sacrifices any form of usefulness in the process
everything else: maximum hipster who gives a fuck

c++ is shit because it takes the strict nature of c tries to make it easy and then ruins it by encouraging you use libraries that you didn't make

python is shit because it tries to make programming 'easy' by making everything as weakly typed as swb's sexual escapades

lisp makes no sense to me i don't get it

assembly is fast but it's huge as fuck and it changes for whatever processor architecture you use so you have a dozen different versions for x86 amd x86 intel x86 cyrix itanium and shit

perl is some old bullshit i tried to learn it and it made no sense

ruby is shit because it tries to be python except with even more nonsensical syntax and also tosses in specialized functions/code for very specific and randomly-selected things which is a hallmark in bad design

c# is shit because it tries to be a c language but nests EVERYTHING in classes so all of your code is literally [x].[x].[x].do([x].[x].[x].[x].toString([x].[x].[x])); and it also needs the .net redistributable

java is shit because it tries to be a c language like c# but makes the code terribly painful to type runs like shit because it's a virtual machine and has ridiculously uncouth function names

lua tries to be user friendly which is its downfall because it's like writing a story with a broken crayon to make it readable for children -- it just makes it harder to read if you already know how and learning to read in shitty crayon makes it harder to learn printed text later in life

oaky wrote:
lisp makes no sense to me i don't get it

http://www.defmacro.org/ramblings/lisp.html

im reading this right now and it seems to make good sense of it

i don't like it

oaky wrote:i don't like it

why do you hate freedom?

Amsoautisticd8er wrote:

oaky wrote:i don't like it

why do you hate freedom?

because i hate xml and this is xml except without sharp <>'s

oaky wrote:

Amsoautisticd8er wrote:

oaky wrote:i don't like it

why do you hate freedom?

because i hate xml and this is xml except without sharp <>'s

that's the price you have to pay for freedom

fortran master race

ruby: for when python is too mainstream