glorious transcripts of FiM

by **alyaza** Wed Jun 04, 2014 12:10 pm

Enstabpfival Gildaa
12:56 PM
mlp wikia has transcripts
12:56 PM

this is going to be AGONY
12:56 PM

mother fucker
12:57 PM

is this literally how this fucking show opens???
12:57 PM

"Once upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria, there were two regal sisters who ruled together, and created harmony for all the land. To do this, the eldest used her unicorn powers to raise the sun at dawn; the younger brought out the moon to begin the night. Thus, the two sisters maintained balance for their kingdom and their subjects, all the different types of ponies. But as time went on, the younger sister became resentful. The ponies relished..." et so on
12:57 PM

how do people enjoy this
12:57 PM

fuck that's like two minutes worth of shitty monologue
12:59 PM

"Twilight Sparkle: ...and harmony has been maintained in Equestria for generations since. Hmm... Elements of Harmony. I know I've heard of those before... but where?"
200.1% Mega
12:59 PM
i just noticed youtube now does 4K
Enstabpfival Gildaa
12:59 PM
you've probably heard of them because you've been reading for TWENTY FUCKING YEARS
12:59 PM

GOSD
12:59 PM

fuck
12:59 PM

now, how you cant remember where i dont give a shit
12:59 PM

but
12:59 PM

fuck
1:00 PM

"Twinkleshine: There you are, Twilight! Moondancer is having a little get-together in the west castle courtyard. You wanna come?
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, sorry, girls... I've got a lot of studying to catch up on.
Twinkleshine: [sigh] Does that pony do anything except study? I think she's more interested in books than friends.
Twilight Sparkle: I know I've heard of the Elements of Harmony."
1:00 PM

HAAAAA
1:00 PM

HA
1:00 PM

HA
1:00 PM

HA
1:00 PM

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS
1:00 PM

WHAT.
1:00 PM

THE FUCK.
1:00 PM

IS THIS.
1:00 PM

seriously
1:00 PM

people watched this
1:00 PM

"Spike: Ow!
Twilight Sparkle: Spike! Spi-ike! Spike?
Spike: [groan]
Twilight Sparkle: There you are. Quick, find me that old copy of Predictions and Prophecies. What's that for?
Spike: Well, it was a gift for Moondancer, but...
[squeak]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh Spike, you know we don't have time for that sort of thing.
Spike: But we're on a break!"
1:01 PM

die
1:01 PM

in
1:01 PM

a glorious
1:01 PM

fire
1:01 PM

oh btw in case you didnt notice im reading the transcript to the pilot of mlp
200.1% Mega
1:01 PM
yeah i can tell
Enstabpfival Gildaa
1:01 PM
im thoroughly impressed at how bad it is
1:01 PM

it defies all standards
1:02 PM

"Twilight Sparkle: No, no, no... no, no, no! [grunts] Spike!
Spike: It's over here!
[whack]
Twilight Sparkle: Ah! Elements, Elements, E, E, E... Aha! Elements of Harmony, see: Mare in the Moon?"
1:02 PM

what
1:02 PM

why would you file that under 'mare in the moon'
1:02 PM

stupid shit
1:02 PM

"Spike: Mare in the Moon? But that's just an old ponies' tale.
Twilight Sparkle: Mare, mare... aha! The Mare in the Moon, myth from olden pony times. A powerful pony who wanted to rule Equestria, defeated by the Elements of Harmony and imprisoned in the moon. Legend has it that on the longest day of the thousandth year, the stars will aid in her escape, and she will bring about nighttime eternal! [gasp] Spike! Do you know what this means?"
1:02 PM

does it mean you're an obnoxious bitch who needs to shut the fuck up??
1:03 PM

god
200.1% Mega
1:03 PM
it takes an effort to be worse than most fanfics
1:03 PM

and they did it
Enstabpfival Gildaa
1:03 PM
im gonna take the liberty
1:03 PM

of going to S1E3
1:03 PM

the first ACTUAL episode
1:03 PM

because it cant be much worse
1:04 PM

i hope
1:04 PM

"Spike: No. Nope. Nope--
Applejack: Thank you kindly, Twilight, for helping me out. I bet Big McIntosh I could get all these Golden Delicious in the barn by lunchtime. If I win, he's gonna walk down Stirrup Street in one of granny's girdles. [chuckles]"
1:04 PM

what he fuck is this.
1:04 PM

what the fuck am i reading?
1:04 PM

seriously,
1:04 PM

what the FUCK.
1:05 PM

"Twilight Sparkle: No problem at all, Applejack. I'm glad the goal is lunchtime. All this hard work is making me hungry.
Spike: I know, right?
Twilight Sparkle: Puh-leez, Spike, you've been lounging on my back all morning while we worked."
1:05 PM

nobody cares
1:05 PM

fuck you
1:05 PM

you deserve to do backbreaking work
1:05 PM

you're a shitty protagonist.
1:05 PM

Spike: Exactly. You two are taking so long, I missed snack-time.
Twilight Sparkle: [stomach grumbles] [laughs nervously] Eh, I guess we better get some food.
Spike: Nope. Worm. A-ha!
Twilight Sparkle: Oh Spike, that looks delicious.
1:05 PM

fuck this
1:06 PM

lol
1:06 PM

im not putting this bullshit in quotes anymore
1:06 PM

just follow along, friends at home!
1:06 PM

"Spike: [munching]
Twilight Sparkle: Spike.
Spike: What? [burp]"
1:06 PM

how boring.
1:06 PM

"Twilight Sparkle: It's a letter from Princess Celestia.
Spike: [clears throat] Hear ye, hear ye. Her Grand Royal Highness, Princess Celestia of Equestria, is pleased to announce The Grand Galloping Gala to be held in the magnificent capital city of Canterlot, on the 21st day of, eh, yadda yadda yadda, cordially extends an invitation to Twilight Sparkle plus one guest.
Applejack and Twilight Sparkle: [gasp] The Grand Galloping Gala!"
1:06 PM

oh god
200.1% Mega
1:07 PM
yeah, i dunno how i watched that gay ass shit
Enstabpfival Gildaa
1:07 PM
my sides
1:07 PM

are in glorious oribt
6/4/14 1:08 PM

okay anyways
1:08 PM

im gonna get something to eat
1:08 PM

will return and continue riffing on this dumb shit