daily paste

by crustacean crusher Wed Oct 02, 2013 8:56 am

You can always tell a story's true when there are literally no non-participants. Everyone is part of a %100$ true story, everyone applauds or sings or references, and- most importantly and truthfully- there are no shy people, no people who don't get the reference, no oblivious music-listeners, no anti-fun police, just love and joy all around.

It heats up the razor clams of the hearth. I try and I try to find this truthful promised land, leaving behind everything I've built for myself- everything I love- to find this place where everyone listens and loves and understands, and where no-one is ignored, no-one is ostracized, no-one feels wounded or lost or confused, and nothing hurts any more, nothing hurts any more, nothing hurts anymore, nothing hurts anymore nothing hurts anymore nothing hurts any more nothing hurts any more nothing hurts any more nothing hurts any more please don't let it hurt any more nothing hurts any more nothing hurts any more nothing hurts any more NOTHING PLEASE GOD NO MORE PAIN

by crustacean crusher Wed Oct 02, 2013 1:23 pm

The government shutdown unleashed the most vitriolic plethora of anti-America, anti-Americans, anti-republican, anti-tea party, anti-congress, pro-NASA jerking I have ever seen. I don't think a single adviceanimal that made it within 4 pages of front didn't have to do with it. /r/politics is usually hostile towards republicans, but today was an absolute shitstorm of accusations of terrorism and insidious intent.

Then to top all that off, the alleged confirmation of Half Life 3 set the whole HL3, valve, gaben, Steambox jerk into maximum overdrive, with a hint of superior Europe and copyright law hate.

by crustacean crusher Wed Oct 02, 2013 1:32 pm

Low-hanging fruit is the most delicious of them all.

Jon Stewart chastises John McCain: Does a war with Syria interrupt your video poker time? -- "Instead of playing pretend poker in the actual Senate, go to an actual casino and pretend you know what the government should do"

Jon Stewart Shreds GOP Over Obamacare: ‘Utter Insanity,’ ‘It’s a F*cking Law!’

Stewart Slams Fox, Pols Disappointed in Syria Deal: How Does 'Not War' Anger You So Much?

Jon Stewart Blasts GOP Over Shutdown: When The Giants Lost, They Didn't Shut Down The NFL

Jon Stewart Blasts Republicans: 'Obamacare Is Your 'Springtime For Hitler'

Jon Stewart Torches Ted Cruz's Fake Filibuster (VIDEOS)

'You're F*cking With Us, Right?' Jon Stewart Delivers Stinging Takedown of Ted Cruz Filibuster

Jon Stewart Destroys Fox News Over Syria Coverage: 'Who Cares HOW We Avoided A War...' (VIDEO)

Jon Stewart destroys Fox News’ ‘parasitic, succubus-like existence’ in hyper-speed rant -- "I get that Fox opposes a Syria peace plan because its motus operandi is to foment dissent in the form of a relentless and irrational contrarianism to Barack Obama"

Jon Stewart Destroys Fox News Over Syria Coverage: 'Who Cares HOW We Avoided A War...' (VIDEO) (huffingtonpost.com)

The above link was a verbatim repost, not an error on my part.

Jon Stewart Slams Fox, Pelosi, and 'Limpless, Beady-Eyed' Assad in Syria Insanity Roundup

For those of you keeping score at home, Stewart did one CHASTISE, one SHRED, one TORCH, one STINGING TAKEDOWN, two BLASTS, two SLAMS, and three DESTROYS.

I'm pretty sure I remember Jon Stewart himself going out of his way to make fun of congratulatory headlines that tried to sex up clips from his show.

Jon Stewart Completely Skull-Fucks Republicans Over Debt Issue.

by **RICK ROSS** Wed Oct 02, 2013 1:59 pm

Dr Dre Beats are the way to go. The ultra static dynamic magnetism within the upper echelon of the headphone has a tendency to help sharpen and brighten the lower range of the midrange, allowing both the warm sound of dynamic headphones and more precise tones of electrostatics to come in shape.

The treble is where the clarity and calamity shines, you can literally touch the body of the treble while listening, thanks to thermodynamic activated noise cancelling outside noise won't affect the treble quality which is an issue in most headphones. We're not just talking about your screaming mother, but outside frequencies you cannot hear still decrease the sound quality. Thanks to the thermodynamics the treble truly shines.

Finally the mids, the perfectly crafted V shaped sound signature making the headphone more fun, without reducing neutrality like the Denon's or Ultrasones. Dr Dre knows your brain has trouble registering abundant mid frequencies that are too forward and solidified, thus the mids remain where they should be. Slightly recessed with a many musical tones entwined with the sparkly high yet not buried by the mind crushing bass.

Dr Dre knows bass better than anyone and boy has he shown it. The Beats have a bass with the lush sonics only apparent in subwoofers while keeping the analytical veil of the higher end AKG line, it's not a question of either or with Beats. You get the perfect cold sound of the AKG's with the planarmagnetically enhanced sub frequencies you normally can't find in headphones. The bass dances around while the sonics caress the mids bringing both forward, yet without recessing the beautifully scent filled treble. The bass doesn't only vibrate your body, it vibrates your subconscious and soul. Only thanks to the psychologically altered rotational velocidensities engineered into the sub frequencies.

The Beats are a complete package and you would be stupid to get anything else.

by crustacean crusher Wed Oct 02, 2013 2:08 pm

MC Cinema wrote:Dr Dre Beats are the way to go. The ultra static dynamic magnetism within the upper echelon of the headphone has a tendency to help sharpen and brighten the lower range of the midrange, allowing both the warm sound of dynamic headphones and more precise tones of electrostatics to come in shape.

The treble is where the clarity and calamity shines, you can literally touch the body of the treble while listening, thanks to thermodynamic activated noise cancelling outside noise won't affect the treble quality which is an issue in most headphones. We're not just talking about your screaming mother, but outside frequencies you cannot hear still decrease the sound quality. Thanks to the thermodynamics the treble truly shines.

Finally the mids, the perfectly crafted V shaped sound signature making the headphone more fun, without reducing neutrality like the Denon's or Ultrasones. Dr Dre knows your brain has trouble registering abundant mid frequencies that are too forward and solidified, thus the mids remain where they should be. Slightly recessed with a many musical tones entwined with the sparkly high yet not buried by the mind crushing bass.

Dr Dre knows bass better than anyone and boy has he shown it. The Beats have a bass with the lush sonics only apparent in subwoofers while keeping the analytical veil of the higher end AKG line, it's not a question of either or with Beats. You get the perfect cold sound of the AKG's with the planarmagnetically enhanced sub frequencies you normally can't find in headphones. The bass dances around while the sonics caress the mids bringing both forward, yet without recessing the beautifully scent filled treble. The bass doesn't only vibrate your body, it vibrates your subconscious and soul. Only thanks to the psychologically altered rotational velocidensities engineered into the sub frequencies.

The Beats are a complete package and you would be stupid to get anything else.

luv that shit

by crustacean crusher Thu Oct 03, 2013 8:49 am

When I was teaching 10th grade English, I had a girl who lost the novel we had been reading, which is fine, but, keep in mind, this was a cheap paperback costing maybe six bucks, but I'm accountable, so I gave her an ultimatum of: return the book, or pay the six bucks. Didn't seem like a particularly big deal. Next day, the enraged mother of the girl, the girl's boyfriend and her brother (both guys already graduated and shouldn't even have been allowed in the building) come screaming into class, bear in mind, while I'm in the middle of teaching, and try to attack me for this. Eventually I simply told them they had ten seconds to leave or they were all going to prison, which seriously surprised them, and I honestly think these assholes didn't realize that was a potential consequence of what they were doing, and they all ran out. Never saw that one coming. Never did call the cops because the family is related to the local sheriff (it was a really small town).

by crustacean crusher Thu Oct 03, 2013 9:57 am

Okay, we get it. The net is sitting in its basement, jerking it to pictures of boobs wearing fedoras. Step outside. Drop the tissue box and lotion. There's more to life than boobs. Maybe, just maybe, if you realize that, you'll get married to a beautiful woman, with an awesome personality. Boobs are secondary.
TL;DR: WE LOVE BOOBS AMIRITE GUISE

by **LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD** Sun Oct 06, 2013 12:18 am

this post is about my boyfriend and I dealing with his fatphobic (ex) friends. he is a cis pansexual boy, I am a trans gay boy. we’ve both been bullied about our bodies for much of our lives, in different and ever-changing contexts.

he is VERY conventionally attractive in every way except *gasp* (note sarcasm) he carries all his weight in the DREADED BELLY AREA *note more sarcasm*. I find fat stomachs super hot by the way (people I’ve told laugh at me and say it’s a ’fetish’ but to me is no more of a fetish than straight guys drooling over “big tits”). his social circle before meeting me was a group of very image-conscious cis gay men and a few straight cis women who not only worshiped them, but would let these men be in charge of their ‘diet and exercise’ plans. They’d also endlessly police his food. the guys would constantly barrage him and poke his stomach and tell him “you’re never going to get a hot boy with THAT belly!” (They’d laugh at my boyfriend saying he was pansexual, saying ‘what? you’d fuck a pan? well, I’d rather fuck a pan than a GIRL, and you’ll have to *settle* for a girl with THAT BUBBLE GUT!’ hello, misogyny AND fatphobia!)

by **link63** Sun Oct 06, 2013 5:06 am

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little shit? Ill have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and Ive been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and Im the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. Youre fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and thats just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little clever comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldnt, you didnt, and now youre paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. Youre fucking dead, kiddo.

by **LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD** Sun Oct 06, 2013 9:28 am

link63 wrote:What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little shit? Ill have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and Ive been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and Im the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. Youre fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and thats just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little clever comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldnt, you didnt, and now youre paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. Youre fucking dead, kiddo.

this isnt even worth copying it's so old

by **RICK ROSS** Sun Oct 06, 2013 9:36 am

I used to love kicking the **** out of computer science f@gs like you back in college.
I have a question though have you ever f*cked a girl that was under 200 pounds? Im not talking about that p*ssy boy software geek that you suck off under your cubicle. I dont know if i should write this you might have your posse of klingon warriors shoot invisible lasers at me. By the way does your mom know youre on this site? Shes not going to take you to the star trek convention in denver next year if you keep this up young man. Well it was nice talking to you. Keep sucking d*ck maybe some day your dad will actually pay for it.

by tangy2 Sun Oct 06, 2013 9:38 am

spicy wrote:I used to love kicking the **** out of computer science f@gs like you back in college.
I have a question though have you ever f*cked a girl that was under 200 pounds? Im not talking about that p*ssy boy software geek that you suck off under your cubicle. I dont know if i should write this you might have your posse of klingon warriors shoot invisible lasers at me. By the way does your mom know youre on this site? Shes not going to take you to the star trek convention in denver next year if you keep this up young man. Well it was nice talking to you. Keep sucking d*ck maybe some day your dad will actually pay for it.

HAHAH i remember reading that

it was one of the many angry emails maddox got

by **LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD** Sun Oct 06, 2013 9:44 am

maddox looks and sounds like such a little bitch it ruins the joke persona he creates

by spacejamsk8r Mon Oct 14, 2013 4:43 pm

It's really weird when people make cultural appeals to his authority when the only authority that he seems to have is that he stated the average redditor's opinions on a large stage. The fact that his pithy and reductive opinions are often presented as revelatory and subversive is even weirder. His whole persona was "I noticed something is different than I was told as a child and that makes me angry." (See the reddit version: "Mother Teresa is a monster" "Putin is a mensch" "Rich people only care about themselves!"). It makes complete sense that Carlin and Hicks appeal to teenage boys. They both offer the appeal of freshly discovered intellectual territory to kids who haven't set off on any path yet.

You can agree with Carlin because he says something that makes you laugh or you can find something funny just because you agree with him ("There's not really a laugh here but I also don't believe in God either so this is entertaining to hear"). So many of Carlin's bits have a flimsy comedic premise - they completely rely on the audience buying that he's a bold, sexy truth-teller who doesn't give a fuck. Demagoguery way too often trumped humor for him. Read this shit: https://i.imgur.com/AlKzP.jpg It's like something that would get best-of'd on reddit.

It's just plainspoken, reductive imitation of wisdom that requires very little thought or nuance and just results in making kids default to cynicism at a very early age while also making them believe they've learned a secret truth very few are privy too (How many times have people said, "George Carlin/Louis CK/Bill Hicks is a philosopher!.") It's shit like this (and South Park for that matter) that makes its audience feel special ("I'm not one of the idiot sheep that vote all these politicians into power! I have nothing to do with the fucked-up state of the world! I know how the world really works and that I am powerless to do anything!" "Everyone who isn't just like me is worthless!")

I also don't think guys like Carlin are blameless in how their audience is. Either he really thought he was delivering subversive truth bombs that most 18 year olds could come up with on their own or he was cynically flattering his audience by telling them that they, and they alone because they are the ones who came to see him, see how the world truly is. There is nothing revelatory about Carlin, Hicks, CK - you just agree with them and they make funny dick jokes and have some clever wordplay.

by **LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD** Mon Oct 14, 2013 4:59 pm

spacejamsk8r wrote:It's really weird when people make cultural appeals to his authority when the only authority that he seems to have is that he stated the average redditor's opinions on a large stage. The fact that his pithy and reductive opinions are often presented as revelatory and subversive is even weirder. His whole persona was "I noticed something is different than I was told as a child and that makes me angry." (See the reddit version: "Mother Teresa is a monster" "Putin is a mensch" "Rich people only care about themselves!"). It makes complete sense that Carlin and Hicks appeal to teenage boys. They both offer the appeal of freshly discovered intellectual territory to kids who haven't set off on any path yet.

You can agree with Carlin because he says something that makes you laugh or you can find something funny just because you agree with him ("There's not really a laugh here but I also don't believe in God either so this is entertaining to hear"). So many of Carlin's bits have a flimsy comedic premise - they completely rely on the audience buying that he's a bold, sexy truth-teller who doesn't give a fuck. Demagoguery way too often trumped humor for him. Read this shit: https://i.imgur.com/AlKzP.jpg It's like something that would get best-of'd on reddit.

It's just plainspoken, reductive imitation of wisdom that requires very little thought or nuance and just results in making kids default to cynicism at a very early age while also making them believe they've learned a secret truth very few are privy too (How many times have people said, "George Carlin/Louis CK/Bill Hicks is a philosopher!.") It's shit like this (and South Park for that matter) that makes its audience feel special ("I'm not one of the idiot sheep that vote all these politicians into power! I have nothing to do with the fucked-up state of the world! I know how the world really works and that I am powerless to do anything!" "Everyone who isn't just like me is worthless!")

I also don't think guys like Carlin are blameless in how their audience is. Either he really thought he was delivering subversive truth bombs that most 18 year olds could come up with on their own or he was cynically flattering his audience by telling them that they, and they alone because they are the ones who came to see him, see how the world truly is. There is nothing revelatory about Carlin, Hicks, CK - you just agree with them and they make funny dick jokes and have some clever wordplay.

fuck i gotta keep this one saved

by **mega!!!!** Mon Oct 14, 2013 5:04 pm

My favorite thing in life is beating Christians at their own game of morals. When the Mormon girl is sleeping around it's just comical to watch her act better because she's got the magic Jesus.
I mean, obviously to me my asexual nature isn't any better than her promiscuous one (to me it's just a personal decision/preference), but to the religious folk celibacy is like this huge ideal lifestyle, so "out-Christian-ing" them is just great.

by spacejamsk8r Mon Oct 14, 2013 5:07 pm

gay post

by **mega!!!!** Mon Oct 14, 2013 5:07 pm

spacejamsk8r wrote:gay post

*asexual

by **RICK ROSS** Mon Oct 14, 2013 6:02 pm

Hey buddy, I think you've got the wrong door?
.The gay club is 2 blocks down .

by spacejamsk8r Mon Oct 14, 2013 6:08 pm

Red Epoch wrote:Hey buddy, I think you've got the wrong door?
.The gay club is 2 blocks down .

F@ck you!

by **RICK ROSS** Wed Oct 16, 2013 5:08 pm

whats that one with the "i wil run from my great homeland mother russia" and the thor and odin shit

by ammyy Wed Oct 16, 2013 5:09 pm

BOTH OF YOU MOTH DICKS KNOCK IT OFF YOU FUCKING CUNT LIPPED GNOME SHITS YOU FUCKING DICK NIPPLE WIZARDS FOREFATHER OF SUCKING DICKS I AM A HUNDRED DOLLARS SERIOUS AT EXACTLY 3 POINTS AND I WILL COME DOWN FROM MY HOMELAND OF THE GREAT MOTHER RUSSIA AND UNLEASH THE FULL FORCE OF MY FURY UPON YOUR HEADS YOU LITTLE FUCKING MIDGET BALLS

by **RICK ROSS** Wed Oct 16, 2013 5:15 pm

thank you based sk8r

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